I compare praise—like any gift—to the pitch of a ball. When you throw it to me, I could ignore it as it sails by me. Then you have to run past me and find it in the bushes. I could hold both my hands up in trepidation, and turn my head away so it bangs off the side of my glove and into the creek. Or I can catch it. Feels good, right? You’ve just been hired as the Head Millwright for Cambridge Steel. You work on shift but are also on call for any emergency repairs. They rely on you to ensure all their machines are up and running 24 hours a day. Times are good in the steel market,...


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You don't quite know how to receive praise? You feel embarrassed and awkward? Let me help you. Let’s do some role-playing in which you are praising me, so you can see how I might respond. You come to my house for coffee to discuss a potential new opportunity for business. I serve you warm multi-grain muffins with blueberry and sunflower seeds, garnished with butter. You say, “Mmm. These are delicious muffins.” RESPONSE 1 I say, “Oh, it’s just from a recipe I got in Reader’s Digest.” You think, Does this mean they’re not delicious? Or that I might just be really...


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A successful oil painter was standing in the middle of two or three dozen admirers, who had come to see the opening of her show. She was in the middle of a conversation with a respected curator of another gallery who was describing her work in distinctive, superlative terms. I listened carefully and watched her. She betrayed no pride. Instead, she quickly changed the subject. I wasn’t surprised. I witness this phenomenon all the time. Later, I challenged her. “You sure know how to deflect praise.” “What are you talking about?” “That curator. He was praising your art to the heavens....


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Have you heard the Faith Train whistle blowing recently? I bet someone in your circle of associates, friends, relatives—even strangers—has sparked the consciousness in your own mind about something you could accomplish but have never tried. They may have said something about what you can do for them. And you may have—probably did—deflect their faith and balked. “Who, me? Nah, I could never do that.” “Are you kidding? I’m not trained for that.” “I’ve never done anything like that before.” “That’s not my typical line of work.” Guess how the person feels...


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Now that I’ve told you how I fell on my face a few times, let me tell you what has happened since, when clients and associates show faith in me. I was hired as a consultant for a communications firm that worked almost exclusively in financial services, when I had virtually no experience working in financial services. It jump-started my career in that sector, which has proven a substantial client base ever since. I was hired as a trainer for a large bank’s credit department, when I had no formal qualifications as a trainer. I was chosen by a law firm to train lawyers, paralegals and assistants...


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Yes, I fell on my face again. I was hired almost immediately by a well-respected advertising agency to drum up new business. Again, this was entirely new territory. I had no experience in advertising, and my only sales experience was life insurance and coupon booklets door to door during my second year of university. My new boss, another David, called me as soon as he received my resume, invited me for an interview, and hired me on the spot for the salary I asked for—$24,000. (At that point, I was naïve enough to low-ball my worth.) He leased a company car on my behalf, gave me a list of prospects,...


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People’s faith in me is the most valuable gift my clients give me. When I survey the history of my career—even before I started my own consulting business—faith comes out on top. When people have believed in me, it has pole-vaulted me into exciting new territories and achievements. Lucky for me, I had the intuition to receive it with an open heart and an open mind. The reason I am where I am today is that I took that faith. I have this habit, thank God, of following fear like a soldier. I hitched a ride on the faith train to do what they believed I could do. My thinking way back when—conscious...


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So now that you are hearing more people say Thank you, how do you respond? My preferred response is to say nothing. Just smile and let them continue thanking you. Here are a few more, some of them with a twinkle in your eye, a tone of jovial self-congratulation, a sprinkling of exaggeration, and a dash of humour. “I thought so too.” “That shows you have good taste.” “My pleasure, my dear.” “You think so?” “I’m so glad you like it.” “Really? How so?” “I spent the whole weekend poring over the details. So it was worth it?” “You’re welcome.” “Obviously,...


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Most people unconsciously dismiss opportunities to receive thanks. All they think about is huffing and puffing and serving people. There is no mutual giving expected. There is no thanks expected. When my son was 3 or 4 years old he still had his own language. Coo mee meant “excuse me.” Guy-ga was what he called his sister Malika. And tang ko was his term for “thank you.” We were eating in a local snack bar—the old-fashioned kind with red swivel stools at a counter—and he was munching on a hot dog. When the server came by, he swallowed his man-size mouthful and gurgled, “Tang ko.” The...


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A Persian philosopher was asked by what method he had acquired so much knowledge. He replied, "I am not ashamed to ask questions." I would add that this is one of the keys to being a successful business owner. When we ask a question, we expose our ignorance. Many of us believe we need to disguise our ignorance or hide it altogether. We believe our customers, associates and employees will think less of us if we expose our ignorance about something. Many of us, apparently, are ashamed  that we are not omniscient. I offer two radically different perspectives. First, asking questions...


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