“Yeah, Chris is enjoying himself today as the handyman,” chimed Jane. “The wind ripped down the entire wall. It came down with an awful bang.”

We both sat staring at him through the steam rising from our tea cups. For a moment I marveled.

“Isn’t it funny, Jane? Imagine if your neighbours had torn down your lattice by spite—or even by accident. You’d probably be embroiled in a bitter law suit, or trying to hurry them up with fixing it themselves. Chris wouldn’t be whistling, that’s for sure. But since it was the wind, you take it without offence and don’t seem to mind. At least it doesn’t stir up bad will.”

Since that moment I have applied this mental tool to all kinds of circumstances, to alleviate the burden of bad will. If something happens to damage your things, or inconvenience you, or hurt you, imagine for a moment if it had happened by “accident,” or by an act of God or weather. Would you be weighed down by it?

One night you host a wild party with all your friends. At two in the morning after the guests have left, your living room and kitchen are in chaos. Glasses and bottles everywhere. Plates with food encrusted on them still lying on the couch. Dirty spoons and forks on the carpet. Crumpled-up napkins and stray crackers under the chair and piano. Pictures askew on the wall. Handprints on the mirror. You look at it all, sigh, and go to bed happy. What a party!

Yet when you look at your teenage son’s messy room you feel intense disgust and anger. One mess makes you crazy, the other makes you happy. One mess will take you hours to clean up yet you’re at peace with it. It represents celebration and friends and laughter. The other represents a teenager’s carelessness and ingratitude.

We choose to respond with various negative emotions when we take offence or take things personally. The inconvenience itself, in almost any circumstance, is not the relevant issue. What if you could shift your perspective on things that otherwise make you feel anger and frustration?

Here’s an example. You return to the parking lot after an appointment with your optometrist to find a dent in the front bumper of your car. What choices do you have?

If you feel someone misjudged the distance as they reversed from their parking spot, you may feel anger. Was it the person parked in front of you? You could check their back bumper and seethe. If you feel someone deliberately mashed up your car by spite because they might not like you, well, you’re going to be even more angry and seethe some more. If you attribute irresponsibility to the person who ran off without telling you, you will be mad. However, if you believe the wind knocked down a block of ice off the tree above the car, you’ll simply call your insurance agent and fill out the forms.

“But what if my deductible is $500? Then I’m out $500 because some dingbat doesn’t know how to drive and doesn’t have the balls to leave his name on my windshield!”

As my teenage daughter says, Calm down. It’s time to start re-assessing your expectations with numbers. I’ve found this a useful tool any day of the year. Yes, $500 is not a drop in the bucket. But if you incorporate it into the yearly maintenance cost of driving a car, you may find it easier to deal with. “Oops, I forgot to add that into my yearly expenses associated with driving this lovely Toyota.” This is no flakey convolution of reasoning. We re-adjust our expectations unconsciously all the time. You may decide you would like to rust-proof your car and add a bug shield or a fancy sound system and you’ve spent at least $500 right there, with no tantrum or expletives. You take a trip to Parry Sound and gobble up $600 in gas and van rentals. That’s your choice, and the $600 you consider a cheap way to have a wonderful week of cottaging.

It often comes down to what you want to spend your time doing. I decided long ago that I want to spend my time doing things I love, not trying to voice my anger over injustices or inconveniences.

Here are more examples. A customer loses all records of your invoice, or claims they sent you the cheque 30 days ago. Another customer promises to pay you “next week for sure,” after they’ve apologized twice for being overdue. A traffic jam keeps you from reaching a critical meeting with a valued client. A banker’s error causes several cheques to bounce. Your boss accidentally steps on your only pair of prescription sunglasses, which someone accidentally knocked off your desk. Your assistant is late for an important meeting. One of your staff defects to a competitor only weeks after you’ve paid for some valuable training.

“You’re saying I have to roll over and just take it?”

I’m not recommending a plan of action in response to any of these occurrences. I’m only recommending a point of view. I’m suggesting that, whatever you do, if you detach yourself from any bad will associated with it, you will get closer to getting your way, minimizing the damage, and solving the problem.

A contractor I know—let’s call him Frank—has the habit of trusting people and jumping into working situations with no guarantees from the customer. In 20 years he has been burned maybe 3 times. Recently, however, he worked for two weeks for a new client, travelled to a distant city and incurred all his own expenses in the process. After two weeks he invoiced his new client $2600. He never got paid. Phone messages, letters and detailed invoices availed nothing.

The lesson was clear: a verbal agreement for a new client can mean unpaid work and even a loss, especially if your own expenses are involved. The solution: get the signature from a new customer before you begin working. Make the contract detailed and clear, with firm payment terms for both fees and expenses.

This was a tough lesson for Frank. He had the option of being bitter. He could have stewed about it. He could have taken out his frustration on future customers or himself. Instead, he and his partner met with me to discuss a new approach to dealing with unfamiliar prospects, to ensure they are the kind of customers he can trust. Part of what we discussed was a contract with a signature, and a payment up front before any work is begun. This was new for him: he had always worked on the premise that his customers deserve guarantees from him that his work will be on time and of the highest quality. He had never considered that such guarantees need to be mutual if he is to build a healthy and loyal client base and grow his company how he wants to grow it. He is not the only one who needs to earn someone’s trust: his customers must prove their worthiness for his work.

Frank took a big loss on this lesson, and had to walk away. His client sounded too volatile and unpredictable to spend the effort chasing down $2600. Instead, he saw this experience not as a loss, but as a gift, given to him to change his approach to his business. He began immediately to quote on other projects, implementing my recommendations for clear contracts with a signature, and a partial payment up front.

Bitterness is unnecessary in anyone’s life. When you get burned, you can choose to find retribution or revenge. This may get you back to where you started, compensating for your loss. The cost of choosing this route may include money for a lawyer, sometimes an inordinate amount of time, extra effort and mental energy, and the fallout from the other person’s desire for subsequent revenge. Further, whenever you enter the ring to combat a foe, you are already associating yourself with them on some level. You may consider these costs worth the potential reward, but it probably won’t make you a winner. It means you taste bitterness for awhile. Stress will probably be a factor.

Bitterness comes from frustration, a feeling of helplessness to have any influence over the force that has damaged you or used their power over you. It literally builds up a bile in your digestive system and affects your blood and complexion and energy level.  We all know people who are bitter: you can see it in their eyes and tone of voice and even the way they walk.

When you take responsibility for your part in a deal gone sour, it is easier to dismiss bitterness. Like Frank, when you recognize your power, and the fact that you did not use when you had it, you divest the other party of the power over you. You acknowledge that you had full access to other choices and you made a choice completely independent of the other person. This is a comforting discovery, paradoxically. It makes you want to kick yourself, but it’s a much better feeling than the illusion that someone else had all the power.

Your option is to consider your apparent loss as a gift of learning. You can completely detach yourself from the person or group who has done you wrong. It’s their loss, ultimately: not yours. In Frank’s case, his client lost the best building manager he could have had, because of bad faith. If this man continues treating his associates like he treated Frank, he won’t be in business long. He will burn bridges and build bad will for only so long before it comes back to whack him in the wallet. He can’t build business success without relationships based on trust.

No doubt you have found yourself in similar situations to Frank.  Unjust people are part of life, and your job is to protect yourself as best you can from their influence. You have more power to do this than you may think. In many cases the best route is to cut your losses, walk away from the bad influence, and start afresh with a new understanding of all the power that is at your fingertips. Leave the unjust people to their fate, and waste no time creating your own fruitful career.

The quandary is familiar to me. For many years I too was faced with the challenge of convincing people to hire me, when I knew they needed me but they did not.

You cannot convince anyone they need you. You cannot convince anyone to call you. Here’s what I suggest. You have a business card and a brochure. Certainly use them. Hand them out. Make yourself known.

But keep this in mind: the more you talk, the less they listen. The more you listen, the more you build trust. And the greater the trust between you, the more likely they are to consider a massage as a great way to improve their health and quality of life. Tell them you’re a massage therapist, and then spend the rest of the conversation listening to them. Or wait until they ask you what you do for a living.

When they ask that question after you’ve listened to them with genuine interest, you can bet they are open to hearing the answer—especially if you answer the question with a bit of creative teasing. For example, suppose the person has been telling you about all the stress in their life.

“I’m a professional stress-reducer.”

“A what?”

“I’m a massage therapist. People pay me to reduce their stress once a week through vigorous massage. It’s a proven method of improving cardiovascular circulation, the immune system, your heart rate, and your overall feeling of peace and contentment.”

“Wow. Maybe that’s what I need.”

Of course they know what a massage therapist is. Of course they have friends who get massages. They may have had several massages themselves. But you have personalized it and refreshed its meaning for them. And made yourself available to them immediately.

“Well, Saveena, I’m here for you when you need me. Keep my card and give  me a call. My table is ready for you whenever you are. You deserve it, so treat yourself.”

“How much do you charge?”

“The standard fees for massage are $80 per hour. I limit myself to 25 clients a week so I can deliver you my full attention and physical strength. You get a full hour of my heart and soul.”

This approach works well especially if you are just starting out. You may not have 25 clients a week, but you have decided to limit your weekly appointments to that number in order to save your own health and your own hands. Saveena may assume you have 25 clients and this looks good on you.

Saveena may make a few calls when you leave. She’ll compare prices and discover your fees are higher than most. But she’ll also have trust to go on. She likes you. She’ll decide whether an extra $20 is worth it for her. At the least, she will get the impression that, based on your fee alone, you are probably better at your job than others might be.

COCO CHANEL

We tend to enter conversation—verbal or written—with the goal of making ourselves heard or presenting our own points of view, making us sound more convincing or profound than the others in the conversation. Those of us who may not like this role tend to recede into a shy corner—and this describes most women. Those of us who thrive in this role tend to be poor listeners—and this describes many men.

Good conversation requires a healthy combination of the two. One half of great conversation is the art of listening. The other half is the art of speaking your truth, being genuine and self-affirming. If you make a great listener, people will love talking to you. But here’s the cool part: if you make a great listener, people will love listening to you too. My recommendation is that, when people stop to listen to you, use the opportunity to make your voice loud and clear.

For the first part of my career I attempted to refine the art of talking. I wanted to sound interesting, compelling, and authoritative. However, I noticed that when the room was full of men, my ideas were relegated to a limited importance. They were considered useful, but not critical. They were interesting, but not worth exploring. Almost every woman I talk to can relate to this phenomenon.

I discovered that I could gain more respect, and provide better service, by listening carefully. But even that was not enough.

So I decided I would try to balance my listening skills with a very confident boom in my voice.

The impact of my choice hit me one day with a delightful wham. I was in the middle of an important first meeting chaired by a man named Barry whose teams had often worked with me, and who had often signed my invoices, but who had never worked with me directly. For this meeting, a team of about 10 people were present, including myself and another outside business consultant. Nine of them were males. For a good 20 minutes I listened carefully to Barry explain his needs. I intervened once or twice to respond with a question, as I had done for two years in all my meetings with all my clients. At last he directed a question to me, wanting to hear my ideas for sales strategy and an approach to the project.

My first recommendation was both simple and radical. It was only one or two sentences but I delivered it with power and confidence. It surprised him. I and everyone else in the room waited for his response.

“Why would you do that?” he asked.

I proceeded to explain. As I did so, he paid me his full attention, looking squarely into my eyes. I could see as I spoke that he was digesting everything I said. It was clearly making sense to him. Everyone else in the room was just as riveted on my point of view, which was information they had never learned before. I was speaking to a captive audience.

Little did Barry, or anyone in the room, know that this was one of the most satisfying moments in my entire career. It seemed that my listening over two years had finally paid off. My professional knowledge was receiving the recognition it had deserved for many years, which I had always received one-on-one from colleagues and sales reps, but never received in a group stacked with males.

Since that moment, people listen carefully, even reverently, when I speak. There is no difference between males and females. I accomplished this by listening carefully and speaking with confidence. I recommend you do both with enthusiasm.

“As a leader, part of your role is to increase the behaviours that will enable you to execute a new strategy, serve customers better, improve results. And clearly, behaviours that are positively reinforced tend to be repeated.” (Globe & Mail, 4 December 2004)

Praise, recognition and positive reinforcement are powerful motivational tools. “It should be Management 101.” He warns that if you pay more attention to under-achievers than to great performers, you’re orchestrating your own undoing. People will always want to be where they are recognized and affirmed, and if you do none of that, you’re always at risk of losing them. Avoid praising people, and you engender a culture of discontent that will nurture mediocrity and competition instead of cooperation, productivity and satisfaction. Raises, bonuses, and gifts do not come close to the value of positive reinforcement and plain old recognition.

“Nice job” won’t cut it. Be specific. People who are great performers know their jobs and the details of their jobs. Show them you appreciate the details and know how those details affect the success of a project, and how. Beaudin advocates asking advice from those “under” you. What better form of praise? You can take them to lunch as well, or bring them a snack in the morning. You can treat the entire department to a lunch or a box of donuts, and say “This is in honour of Charlene’s winning performance last night.” That means Charlene is credited with lavishing everyone with a sense of accomplishment and pride. Then describe exactly what Charlene did.

Can you imagine Charlene ever becoming an under-achiever? She will try every way possible to outdo herself. So will everyone else.

All of these things nourish an environment where people do not criticize or undermine each other, do not sabotage each other’s efforts, and do not insult each other. Instead, everyone is encouraged to perpetuate an atmosphere of positive language and mutual admiration and emulation. This is a huge investment in success for the entire company.

My friend Rob received a calendar in the mail from City Hall. Only two printers in town are capable of doing the job, and neither of them got it. Rob is one of them, so he knew. In fact, while he had been in business 3 years, he had been asked to bid on nothing for the City. He asked me to call on his behalf and inquire.

Guilt was doubtless going to play a part in this exchange. City Hall should not be going out of town to print their own calendar. They’re supposed to be supporting local businesses. But being the messenger of guilt can be a tricky position to play, and not exactly a good foundation for building a business relationship. I prepared a good list of things to discuss, and determined I would keep things as positive as possible.

Unfortunately, the Director of Economic Development was away from her desk, so I had to leave a message. I had to think fast. “Hi, Lisa. I’m calling from Full Service Print. We just received your lovely calendar, and I understand it was printed by a company out of town. We’d love to do this kind of work for you, and would like to be considered for bidding opportunities, since we’re right here in Cambridge. Call me back if you get the chance, Lisa. The name is Laurie and here’s my number.”

When I got off the phone, Rob remarked, “She won’t call back. The key is to keep calling.”

Fifteen minutes later the phone rang. It was the Director. Without missing a beat, she began to explain why they had gone out of town to print the city calendar. I listened carefully, knowing she needed to defend herself and get rid of that guilt factor. She concluded by saying, “The other company said they could do all the design and layout as well as the printing. Can you do all that?”

“Yes we can,” I replied. “We’d love to.”

“Okay, why don’t you send me a package?”

“Of course I will,” I said. But I wasn’t finished. I wanted to make her feel good. “By the way, Lisa: you know what I like about the calendar? I love the photographs. It makes me so proud of my hometown.”

“Yes, my digital camera came in handy. I just need more winter scenes.”

“You took those pictures?”

“Yes, I did. All except the winter ones.”

“You’ve got to be kidding! They’re beautiful. The Director of Economic Development who takes the photographs for the city calendar—I love it.”

By this time she was giggling with delight. We talked briefly about our mutual love for the riverscape and architecture, and the next thing you know, she had booked me in for a meeting.

One hour later, I received a call from the Purchaser who works for Lisa. She was calling for us to quote on the city directory.

This all happened because I made the Director feel like a million bucks when she was expecting me to make her feel guilty. Doncha just love it when that happens?

It’s important to make it obvious you are giving it your full attention. Sound eager, look eager. There must be no doubt in the person’s mind that their satisfaction means a great deal to you, and you are invested in their success. And make sure you thank them for giving you their anger.

“You know, Pam, I really appreciate your telling us about this, and allowing us the opportunity to fix it for you. You could have simply taken your business elsewhere and we would have been none the wiser. This means a lot to us because we value your business and we want to help you succeed and look good. If we’re falling short we want to do everything in our power not only to fix it but to exceed your expectations. We couldn’t do this without your faith in us. I’ll get back to you in one hour and let you know when we can deliver it. Mike will call Alena right away to work out the details.”

Notice here that you haven’t said a word about what you did wrong and how hopeless Mike was to make such a foolish mistake. Notice you didn’t say, “I’m so sorry, Pam.” It’s all forward-looking to the prompt solution. And it’s clear how much you value Pam’s justified anger, as a gift. She doesn’t have to worry that anything has been lost or that her risk was miscalculated. You have fully justified the risk she took, fully justified her anger, and finally, fully justified the faith she has shown you. You have taken nothing personally and used it as a chance to excel. What better way to impress a client?

If you show up at her office the next day with the final product, a smile on your face and unshaken confidence, you’ve scored big points. Let nothing interfere with the good feelings Pam associates with your company. You don’t need bravado or high fives. You can repeat your thanks for her “call” or “message,” using positive terms. “Again Pam, we all thank you for seeing this thing through. Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you can relax on the long weekend.”

I was wrong.

During the call I had no indication anything was wrong. My client kept her cool until the end of the call. Unknown to me, she high-tailed it to her team, told them Soper had just caused a disaster and the whole deal might be off. When I called her a few minutes later, all she said was, “It didn’t go well, Laurie. It was awful. I may have lost this whole thing. I have to cool down because I am very upset, you said some things you had no right to say, and I have to write you an email.”

Huh?

You can imagine how I felt. Confused, for sure, but very concerned, while left hanging. What on earth had happened?

Lucky for me she had the skills and the trust to give her anger to me in detail. I received a long email—over a page long—explaining what happened, what I had done wrong, how I had overstepped my boundaries and I was just supposed to listen, that I had no right or authorization to say any of the things I did. She was horrified. Further, my name had been smeared to the other members of the team, making me look like a silly fool with no discretion.

Yet the very last sentence of her tirade read as follows: “This is purely business and in no way influences our friendship.”

Now that is a gift of anger.

When a customer or client gives you something like this, it is an unequivocal token that they want to continue the business relationship and are offering the opportunity to redeem yourself.

I waited for a day to discuss the situation with friends and a colleague.  I wanted to understand it as best I could. I felt she needed space, and had said all she could say, so I didn’t call her to clarify anything. But I needed to show her, in writing, that I fully understood what happened, and the reason for her indignation. I also needed to show her that something like this would never happen again. I needed to mend the broken trust, to revive her faith in my discretion and wisdom. In fact, when someone expresses their dissatisfaction to you like this, it is an invitation to do just that. Nobody likes to feel betrayed or disappointed, that their faith in you has been faulty. They want to get that feeling of comfort back.

Further, I knew she felt responsible for not sufficiently coaching me before the call about what my role was and what the VP shouldn’t know. She was just as angry at herself as she was with me.

I wrote a letter thanking her for sharing her anger with me. I told her I appreciated the time she took to explain it all, instead of jettisoning me from the project. I told her in my own words what I felt had gone wrong. I did not apologize or defend myself. I simply reflected, from my perspective, how I had misinterpreted my role. I empathized with her anger, saying I felt it was fully justified. However, I did not grovel or denigrate myself. I suggested ways this mistake could easily be avoided in the future. I did not say, “I don’t think I should be involved in any conference calls with VPs from now on.” I made specific, pragmatic suggestions about how both of us could work together to make expectations clear. Then I repeated my thanks.

The subject was never discussed again. A few days later, in fact, I arrived back at her office for another team meeting. Everyone was in the room when I arrived, and I felt no tension or embarrassment from anyone. We just went right back to business. And the proposal was a remarkable success.

Far from weakening the bond between us, this occurrence allowed the business relationship to grow stronger. She was able to witness how I handled her anger, in ways that probably differed from anyone else in her business circle. Her faith in me was fully restored, and a year later I found myself once again in numerous conference calls with CEO’s from partner companies.

Expressions of anger are a gift in any relationship. Consider for a moment your relationship with your spouse, parents, siblings and friends. Suppose they are angry with you but they refuse to express it. This can be the source of fragmentation and break-ups, the chronic disease that chips away at trust and mutual understanding. The anger is there, it’s evident, but it’s not expressed. It comes out in unhealthy ways: they withdraw, talk behind your back, do things to get underhanded revenge, or find some way to retaliate for what they see is your misdemeanour. In so doing, they are robbing you both of the opportunity to resolve the problem, learn from it, and move into deeper levels of intimacy. They are also building sources of stress. Think of the tension and confusion you feel when you have a distinct sense something is wrong but you have no idea what.

Transpose this dynamic to your business relationships, and there is little difference. You’ve no doubt seen the sign posted in some restaurants and small shops:

If you like our service, tell your friends.

If you don’t like our service, tell us.

This is the same as asking for the gift of anger.

If someone is unhappy with your product or service, and has not learned how to express their anger, they may choose one of multiple options: fire you, terminate the contract, never do business with you again, tell everyone what a rotten person you are, or withhold payment for as long as they can. They may even sue you if they feel they have been wronged badly enough.

On the other hand, if they feel you are truly open to their anger, and you have built up enough goodwill and trust to cushion the blow, they may take a risk and pitch it to you. When they do this, receive it as a gift. Keep in mind they could easily have chosen any of the other options.

Yes, you can do this. You don’t have to be a therapist. This is part of the art of making a living, the art of nurturing healthy relationships. The way you handle your customers’ anger is what distinguishes mediocre businesspeople from the champions.

The key, again, is to listen. Listen carefully. Don’t defend yourself. Listen for information that can enhance your understanding, perspectives you did not have, or could not have known. Do NOT construct some sort of explanation as you are listening. Just listen to understand. Get into their head and heart. Listen until they are completely finished. If they take a breather, don’t rush to have your say. Wait and see if they have some supplementary expletives, some residual insults. Take it all.

Usually when they’re finished, you will still have some questions. Ask for clarification. Paraphrase to make sure you understand exactly what they are saying. Reassure them that you understand their frustration. Do NOT defend yourself.

“You’re planning a training program? Well let me tell you something. We just finished a fantastic training program here, and everyone’s still talking about it. Have you heard of Marcia Kreller?”

And so it goes.

But remember this: the most important factor in any referral is not the prospective new customer. It’s the person who gives you the referral. They’re your volunteer sales force. If you make them look good, they’ll keep dropping your name. Respond with thanks and show them how much you appreciate their admiration and trust, and the good feeling they’ll get will multiply into more referrals for you.

People often don’t feel comfortable handing a name to you on a silver platter. They usually approach the topic more timidly. At the end of a successful project, for instance, your happy customer may tell you:

“You know, I was talking to my husband last night and describing the unique way you make the most of group strategy sessions.”

Is this a referral? Not yet. But wait. Here’s your reply:

“Yes? How did you describe it to him?”

Taylor tells you how she described it. You reply:

“What did your husband say?”

“He was impressed. He says his department could probably use that sort of approach.”

“He manages a department?”

Taylor proceeds to brag about where her husband works, how many people he manages, and how many years he’s been there.

“Wow. He sounds like he runs a pretty tight ship. I’d love to meet him.”

“You would?”

“Of course I would! Any husband of Taylor’s is a friend of mine!”

You’ve just turned a casual conversation into an opportunity to meet a customer’s spouse: the best referral you can possibly have.

Notice that Taylor is surprised that you would love to meet her husband. Why is that? In many of the referrals I get, people are surprised to know how eager I am to meet people they know—their sister, cousin, spouse or friend. People think you’re too busy or something: I’ve never been able to figure this out. But they get really excited if you do. Now let’s continue the conversation with Taylor.

“Yes, you can tell your husband I’ll give him a call on Friday or Monday!”

And you’d better call, even if you have to leave a message that sounds something like this:

“Hi, Howard, this is Marcia Kreller calling. Perhaps Taylor mentioned my name while she was in training at Denon & Associates, but she certainly told me some good things about you, and the kind of accomplishments you achieved just over the past year. I’d love to meet you and learn more about what you do. How about a coffee at the end of the week? My number is…!”

Suppose Howard never calls you back. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you treated Taylor’s referral, her admiration, and her enthusiasm, with gratitude and respect. For all you know, they could be having marital problems. Howard could be a jerk Taylor is trying to impress. His company may be the client from hell that you could live without. It doesn’t matter to your business. The important thing is that you received a referral and followed up on it, making your current client feel good about herself and about you. It costs you nothing, but may deliver rewards somewhere down the road. Who knows where Taylor will be working in a year? Who knows whether Howard may drop your name to a colleague in six months?

Referrals come in other ways. You may get a call out of the blue from a friend of the family who wants to be a hero to their employer. “Hey, Marcia, how’s it going?”

“Lester, buddy! Long time no see!”

“Guess what! My boss wants to meet you.”

“You gotta be kidding! That’s cool. Tell me more.”

Lester eagerly describes the situation at work. I clearly detect an opportunity for him to raise his profile on the job by recommending someone who can help nab a major sale.

“That sounds exciting. Thanks for dropping my name! Your boss’s name is?”

“Nelson Richmond.”

“His title?”

“Vice President of Sales and Marketing.”

“And his number?”

“740-0101.”

“And he’s expecting my call?”

“Well, he asked me to talk to you and see if you could help. So I’m sure he’s hoping you’ll call.”

“Yes, I will. Right now. Thanks!”

Now here’s what Lester’s hoping. He’ll walk into work tomorrow and his boss will tell him, “Hey, Lester, Marcia called me. We’ve got a meeting this afternoon.” And Lester’s image has been lifted another notch.

If you respond to referrals with less than this level of enthusiasm or promptness, you may be missing out on great opportunities. People like things to happen right away. They don’t like to wait for people to call because it throws off their momentum. They’re inviting you to join in their rhythm, and you can’t miss a beat.

Referrals pop out all over the place. Watch for them. Expect them. And be fully prepared to embrace them with zest and gratitude. You’ll never regret it.